Well, I was able to get used to my new haircut for 3 days then on Saturday it started coming out a little. But on Sunday it came out in massive amounts. I don't remember ever crying so much in one day. I knew it was bound to happen, but you can't prepare yourself or imagine how you're going to feel or react when it starts happening. It honestly was one of the worse days of my life.
So this morning I took the scissors and cut it as short as possible so I wouldn't have to pull the mounds of hair out, and I'm almost bald. What a difference emotionally!!
I have 2 beautiful wigs and quite a few warm hand knitted hats I will be sporting this winter. I've always wanted to wear hats, but I've always had to much hair!!!! Pictures will be posted in a few days of my new looks. Doubt I will be posting a bald picture though!
Monday, October 24, 2011
Saturday, October 22, 2011
Hair issues...........
I have my hair appointment scheduled for Tuesday, October 18th. I had 6 friends and family there with me. We made a little party of it. Wine, cheese and crackers, etc. I was very nervous when I got there. I immediately had a sip of wine to try and calm my nerves. I didn't know if it would be emotional for me or not.It wasn't, lots of laughs.
I've had long hair for over 35 years so this was drastic for me. I told Alberto, my wonderful hairdresser, do what you want. Just make the back really short, close to the head, so when it begins to fall out, it won't be globs of hair falling out.
I didn't have enough to donate to Locks of Love, but Pantene accepts 8 inches or more. So he put my hair in a ponytail and cut off my 8 inches.
The cut came out fabulous!!! I loved it, not sure I can style it like he did, but I loved it! We all went out to eat afterwards and had a great evening with family and friends.
After my experience with the "wig room" I decided to just wear scarves and hats. One of the ladies in the infusion room told me about a wig store that was very nice and they took great care of you.
Since I was feeling so great adn it was a beautiful fall day, I decided to take a drive to the store. They were so helpful and I found a wig almost exactly like the haircut I had just gotten. I even took a picture of it on me and sent it to my sister. I asked her "how do you like how I styled my hair" today. She said OMG I like it better than the way the hairdresser did it. I then told her it was a wig! I went home to show the picture to Bob and he said he liked it better than my haircut too, so I went back Friday to get it!
While I was there on Friday, I saw another one, a bit longer that the one I got. I am partial to long hair, so I wanted that one too! Long story short, I went back Saturday to get the long one. Now I have 2 beautiful wigs I can use when I want to wear hair! Bob and I have this Ball to go to on November 5th, and originally I was going to wear a scarf, not anymore, I got 2 wigs to choose from.
The timing of getting my wig on Friday was perfect. My own hair began to fall out Saturday morning. Just 12 days after chemo began. I knew it was going to happen, but it's still hard to run your fingers through your hair and see clumps coming out. I cried to Bob for just a few minutes and he said at least you know the medicine is working and it'll grow back.
I'm in the house now wearing the warmest wool hat, it feels great. My scalp is very sensitive now, so the hat feels comfy. I want to have matching hats knitted for the whole family to have during the winter if they care to wear them with me!!!
I have alot of appointments planned for next week, so I will have more to update!!!! Then before you know it Round 2 of chemo will be here on Halloween!!!! Hmmm, should I go in costume?
I'm feeling exhausted today, both emotionally and physically. Going to relax this evening with Bob and whichever kid decides to grace us with their presence!!!
Until next week.......
I've had long hair for over 35 years so this was drastic for me. I told Alberto, my wonderful hairdresser, do what you want. Just make the back really short, close to the head, so when it begins to fall out, it won't be globs of hair falling out.
I didn't have enough to donate to Locks of Love, but Pantene accepts 8 inches or more. So he put my hair in a ponytail and cut off my 8 inches.
The cut came out fabulous!!! I loved it, not sure I can style it like he did, but I loved it! We all went out to eat afterwards and had a great evening with family and friends.
After my experience with the "wig room" I decided to just wear scarves and hats. One of the ladies in the infusion room told me about a wig store that was very nice and they took great care of you.
Since I was feeling so great adn it was a beautiful fall day, I decided to take a drive to the store. They were so helpful and I found a wig almost exactly like the haircut I had just gotten. I even took a picture of it on me and sent it to my sister. I asked her "how do you like how I styled my hair" today. She said OMG I like it better than the way the hairdresser did it. I then told her it was a wig! I went home to show the picture to Bob and he said he liked it better than my haircut too, so I went back Friday to get it!
While I was there on Friday, I saw another one, a bit longer that the one I got. I am partial to long hair, so I wanted that one too! Long story short, I went back Saturday to get the long one. Now I have 2 beautiful wigs I can use when I want to wear hair! Bob and I have this Ball to go to on November 5th, and originally I was going to wear a scarf, not anymore, I got 2 wigs to choose from.
The timing of getting my wig on Friday was perfect. My own hair began to fall out Saturday morning. Just 12 days after chemo began. I knew it was going to happen, but it's still hard to run your fingers through your hair and see clumps coming out. I cried to Bob for just a few minutes and he said at least you know the medicine is working and it'll grow back.
I'm in the house now wearing the warmest wool hat, it feels great. My scalp is very sensitive now, so the hat feels comfy. I want to have matching hats knitted for the whole family to have during the winter if they care to wear them with me!!!
I have alot of appointments planned for next week, so I will have more to update!!!! Then before you know it Round 2 of chemo will be here on Halloween!!!! Hmmm, should I go in costume?
I'm feeling exhausted today, both emotionally and physically. Going to relax this evening with Bob and whichever kid decides to grace us with their presence!!!
Until next week.......
The day after.....
Tuesday, another morning and evening dose of steriods! Then time for my neulasta shot. I went in got the shot and left. I asked when should I experience any side effects. One nurse said 3-5 days another nurse said within a day.. OK.....Within 12 hours of the shot, I started feeling body aches. Kinda like flu like aches and pains. So, Wednesday I was tired and had some aches and pains. Not bad enough that I wasn't able to spend 2 hours at school with parent/teachers conferences!!!! I really haven't had a good nights sleep since Saturday. With all the steriods in me and the aches and pains I couldn't get comfortable.
No nausea, so I happy as a pig in you know what. Thursday was worse with the aches and pains, still couldn't get comfortable. So I said I'd call the doctor for a sleeping pill Friday if I wasn't able to sleep. I called Friday, got the sleeping pill, took it and still didn't work!!! That did it! Time for my own remedy!
Saturday was a beautiful fall day! Joey had a baseball double header. I sat for 4 hours in the fresh air. Walked around abit to stretch and it felt great. Went home and before bed I had a glass of wine. I don't know if it was the wine, fresh air, and walking that did it, but I slept 11 hours!!!! Or maybe too, the steriods were on there way out of my body.....So, note to self: wine and fresh air works if this happens again.
I then thought I was on my way to feeling better......By Sunday I started feeling like myself again....If this happens everytime, I can do it. Just one week of feeling crappy and 2 full weeks of normalcy.
One down 3 to go!
No nausea, so I happy as a pig in you know what. Thursday was worse with the aches and pains, still couldn't get comfortable. So I said I'd call the doctor for a sleeping pill Friday if I wasn't able to sleep. I called Friday, got the sleeping pill, took it and still didn't work!!! That did it! Time for my own remedy!
Saturday was a beautiful fall day! Joey had a baseball double header. I sat for 4 hours in the fresh air. Walked around abit to stretch and it felt great. Went home and before bed I had a glass of wine. I don't know if it was the wine, fresh air, and walking that did it, but I slept 11 hours!!!! Or maybe too, the steriods were on there way out of my body.....So, note to self: wine and fresh air works if this happens again.
I then thought I was on my way to feeling better......By Sunday I started feeling like myself again....If this happens everytime, I can do it. Just one week of feeling crappy and 2 full weeks of normalcy.
One down 3 to go!
Round one of Chemo - done~
I waited awhile before updating the blog after my first chemo treatment. I wanted to share with everyone what I experienced in the time after and since it was my first, I didn't know what to expect or for how long I'd be experiencing the side effects.
I had my first treatment on Monday, October 10th. I was nervous as to be expected. I took my steriod pills Sunday morning and Sunday evening before chemo. So between this and my nerves I got maybe 3 hours of sleep.
Monday morning came, my appointment was at 10am. I needed to get up, get ready at least 2 hours before so I can put numbing cream on my port,. The port is where they put the IV drip, chemo meds, draw any blood. Much easier for me having a port, since they can't use my right arm for anything and my left arm has no veins to be found. By putting the cream on, I shouldn't feel any pain when they stick the needle in me. And it worked, no pain!!!!! Robin, my nurse was very nice and explained everything to me. I ask alot of questions!!!!
I was told by others who had gone through this what I may experience and what to bring with me. Snacks, books, gum, music, etc. to keep me busy. My total drip time was 2 1/2 hours, not long at all compared to some people there were in there for 5-8 hours that day. So 2 1/2 was a breeze.
I walked in and was told to pick a seat. Of course, I picked a seat by the window facing the door so I can see the whole room! Bob sat with me the whole time. I tried listening to music and read, but I was to darn nosy and couldn't concentrate, so I just people watched.
Some people made me chuckle and some made me sad. After seeing what I saw that day , I consider myself lucky, very lucky.
I had an older man next to me who was there for 8 hours, he and his wife bickered the whole time, in a good way. Another older couple was there, the wife was being treated and I noticed she had a full head of hair, so I assumed it was maybe her first time. We got to talking and she said she's been doing this for 4 years now and will probably have to do it for the rest of her life!!! She said it was her own fault, she put off having a colonoscopy and developed colon cancer. They got it during surgery, but she would still need chemo once a month or so for the rest of her life. Lastly, there was another woman who came in, it was her first time also. I saw that she had a port but didn't see any numbing cream on it. My heart went out to this lady, she was all by herself and curled up in fetal position in the chair. She was so sad, saying she was just going home to shave her head tonight. The nurses tried several times to put the IV in her port and she would cry and scream because of the pain. After about 3 attempts she was gone. I don't know what happened or where she went. But no one should have to go through this alone.
Before I knew it, my drip was done. They had me wait a few minutes after to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction to the meds and I didn't. I would have to come back 24 hours later from when the chemo ended to get a "neulasta" shot. This would boost my white blood count and cause aches, pains and nausea.
I got home and felt great, thinking they put this poison/medicine into my body and I felt great! Time will tell what side effects I would experience.
I had my first treatment on Monday, October 10th. I was nervous as to be expected. I took my steriod pills Sunday morning and Sunday evening before chemo. So between this and my nerves I got maybe 3 hours of sleep.
Monday morning came, my appointment was at 10am. I needed to get up, get ready at least 2 hours before so I can put numbing cream on my port,. The port is where they put the IV drip, chemo meds, draw any blood. Much easier for me having a port, since they can't use my right arm for anything and my left arm has no veins to be found. By putting the cream on, I shouldn't feel any pain when they stick the needle in me. And it worked, no pain!!!!! Robin, my nurse was very nice and explained everything to me. I ask alot of questions!!!!
I was told by others who had gone through this what I may experience and what to bring with me. Snacks, books, gum, music, etc. to keep me busy. My total drip time was 2 1/2 hours, not long at all compared to some people there were in there for 5-8 hours that day. So 2 1/2 was a breeze.
I walked in and was told to pick a seat. Of course, I picked a seat by the window facing the door so I can see the whole room! Bob sat with me the whole time. I tried listening to music and read, but I was to darn nosy and couldn't concentrate, so I just people watched.
Some people made me chuckle and some made me sad. After seeing what I saw that day , I consider myself lucky, very lucky.
I had an older man next to me who was there for 8 hours, he and his wife bickered the whole time, in a good way. Another older couple was there, the wife was being treated and I noticed she had a full head of hair, so I assumed it was maybe her first time. We got to talking and she said she's been doing this for 4 years now and will probably have to do it for the rest of her life!!! She said it was her own fault, she put off having a colonoscopy and developed colon cancer. They got it during surgery, but she would still need chemo once a month or so for the rest of her life. Lastly, there was another woman who came in, it was her first time also. I saw that she had a port but didn't see any numbing cream on it. My heart went out to this lady, she was all by herself and curled up in fetal position in the chair. She was so sad, saying she was just going home to shave her head tonight. The nurses tried several times to put the IV in her port and she would cry and scream because of the pain. After about 3 attempts she was gone. I don't know what happened or where she went. But no one should have to go through this alone.
Before I knew it, my drip was done. They had me wait a few minutes after to make sure I didn't have an allergic reaction to the meds and I didn't. I would have to come back 24 hours later from when the chemo ended to get a "neulasta" shot. This would boost my white blood count and cause aches, pains and nausea.
I got home and felt great, thinking they put this poison/medicine into my body and I felt great! Time will tell what side effects I would experience.
Friday, October 7, 2011
I am so lucky to have my Silpada Sisters......
There have so many people (family, friends, co-workers, neighbors, people I've just met, and some I don't even know) that have sent words of encouragement, cards, emails, phone messages, I am so lucky to have them all in my life! There are so many, that I can't acknowledge each and everyone of them, but I hope they know that I love them all and appreciate everything they've done for me and my family.
There is a special group of ladies, that have always been beside me through this, in spirit and in prayer. And most of them just met me in July! They live further away than I'd like, but they are with me just the same. One of my Silpada Sisters, Angie Sly said to me, "THIS is truly what it is all about...not the shows, the money, the hostess coaching or recruiting.....NO! the girlfriends who truly adore one another and enjoy time together".
My wonderful sponsor Kelly Mahanna emailed me the other day and asked if their local Silpada team (in Iowa) can represent me in the Race for the Cure on October 22. They also want to invite all our Silpada Sisters across the nation to join them in helping battle for a cure. She said they'd be proud to help me and would walk/run just for me!
That right there brought tears to my eyes! It was during my pity party, but it would have brought tears regardless of the day. I am so blessed to have this wonderful group of women in my life. There are no words right now that can express how lucky I am.
There is a special group of ladies, that have always been beside me through this, in spirit and in prayer. And most of them just met me in July! They live further away than I'd like, but they are with me just the same. One of my Silpada Sisters, Angie Sly said to me, "THIS is truly what it is all about...not the shows, the money, the hostess coaching or recruiting.....NO! the girlfriends who truly adore one another and enjoy time together".
My wonderful sponsor Kelly Mahanna emailed me the other day and asked if their local Silpada team (in Iowa) can represent me in the Race for the Cure on October 22. They also want to invite all our Silpada Sisters across the nation to join them in helping battle for a cure. She said they'd be proud to help me and would walk/run just for me!
That right there brought tears to my eyes! It was during my pity party, but it would have brought tears regardless of the day. I am so blessed to have this wonderful group of women in my life. There are no words right now that can express how lucky I am.
Party is over, I'm back on track
The pity party is over and I am back on track. Thanks goodness it didn't last that long!
When I knew I may have to have chemo and my hair "may" fall out, I knew I wanted to get a wig. Now my husband tells me all the time to think positive and don't say "when" my hair falls out, say "if" it falls out. I'm trying to think that way.
Bob said why would you want to wear a wig? Why not just a scarf or hat? He said maybe being a guy he doesn't understand. I told him I've had hair all my life. It doesn't define who I am but it's what I'm used to and a big part of me. So after he saw the wig I got from the wig room, he said you can't wear that, go and get the human hair wig if I want. Believe me it's going to be ordered online this weekend. He gets it now! Or maybe him seeing me so upset made him realize how much it bothers me.
I had the day to myself. A nice warm, crisp, sunny, New England fall day. What to do, hmmm. I decided to go somewhere where I can laugh. Yep, I went to visit my friends at work. I usually try and go to visit once a week. They are such great friends, I leave there everytime with a smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss working, just the people!
This weekend we're going to have some beautiful weather, getting into the 80's and I am looking forward to watching Joe's 2 baseball games. I can't wait! I'm sure I'll be nervous for Monday, but I have such a great support system here, they'll get me through it as they have done so in the past. I am truly blessed! You all know who you are!
I read this week, that people with cancer "are lucky", because they get two lives. One before cancer and one after cancer. And the one after cancer is the most rewarding one! I am seeing that firsthand.
When I knew I may have to have chemo and my hair "may" fall out, I knew I wanted to get a wig. Now my husband tells me all the time to think positive and don't say "when" my hair falls out, say "if" it falls out. I'm trying to think that way.
Bob said why would you want to wear a wig? Why not just a scarf or hat? He said maybe being a guy he doesn't understand. I told him I've had hair all my life. It doesn't define who I am but it's what I'm used to and a big part of me. So after he saw the wig I got from the wig room, he said you can't wear that, go and get the human hair wig if I want. Believe me it's going to be ordered online this weekend. He gets it now! Or maybe him seeing me so upset made him realize how much it bothers me.
I had the day to myself. A nice warm, crisp, sunny, New England fall day. What to do, hmmm. I decided to go somewhere where I can laugh. Yep, I went to visit my friends at work. I usually try and go to visit once a week. They are such great friends, I leave there everytime with a smile on my face. Don't get me wrong, I don't miss working, just the people!
This weekend we're going to have some beautiful weather, getting into the 80's and I am looking forward to watching Joe's 2 baseball games. I can't wait! I'm sure I'll be nervous for Monday, but I have such a great support system here, they'll get me through it as they have done so in the past. I am truly blessed! You all know who you are!
I read this week, that people with cancer "are lucky", because they get two lives. One before cancer and one after cancer. And the one after cancer is the most rewarding one! I am seeing that firsthand.
It's a Party.....
Well, this week was the first time since my diagnosis that I had a pity party for myself. It lasted less than a day, but it happened. I guess I am entitled, or so I am told.
I had my port put in on Monday the 3rd and chemo is to start on the 10th. Not taking the time to rest after Monday's surgery, I went about my business and ran errands.
My favorite errand, going to try on wigs. NOT! I dreaded this so much. But I wanted to have something for my head. I know people say "it'll grow back, it's only hair", but all the cancer patients I've talked to say this is the hardest to deal with.
I have some scarves and hats that are OK, but I want some "hair" just in case.......The Cancer Center has a "wig room" where you can go and try on wigs, synthetic ones.....eeekkkkk... My hairdresser says get "human hair" if you can. So I went to a wig store to at least see and feel what human hair felt like. It does feel like human hair and you have to do the upkeep as if it was your own hair! Some say that's the drawback.
It's Wednesday and I have an appointment to try on wigs. It's hard to get the real effect with your own hair still there. So there I am trying on these synthetic wigs and you can't comb them like human hair, you just have to play with it with your fingers to get it to look right. After an hour or so, I walked out of there with a wig and about 7 knitted hats, scarves, etc.
By that time I was feeling sick. I forgot to eat and had taken a pain pill because I was sore from the surgery on Monday. Luckily I was just 20 minutes from home, I didn't think I'd make it but I did.
When I got home and went straight to bed at 2:30pm. Lauren comes home (my 11 year old daughter) and comes to lay with me in bed. I told her what I did that day and she asked if she can look at my "goodies". That little girl had a field day with all the stuff. (You all have to know that being nauseous for me is the worst, I can take physical pain, but not a queezy stomach. So my emotions are running rampid.) She tries on the wig and says "hey, can I wear this for Halloween?" I was thinking of being a girl from the 1980's. Holding back the tears (not tears of laughter) I said sure.
I don't think I cried as much as I did that night. I know it's only hair, but I think everything finally sunk in, chemo is starting Monday and I am nervous and scared.
I had my port put in on Monday the 3rd and chemo is to start on the 10th. Not taking the time to rest after Monday's surgery, I went about my business and ran errands.
My favorite errand, going to try on wigs. NOT! I dreaded this so much. But I wanted to have something for my head. I know people say "it'll grow back, it's only hair", but all the cancer patients I've talked to say this is the hardest to deal with.
I have some scarves and hats that are OK, but I want some "hair" just in case.......The Cancer Center has a "wig room" where you can go and try on wigs, synthetic ones.....eeekkkkk... My hairdresser says get "human hair" if you can. So I went to a wig store to at least see and feel what human hair felt like. It does feel like human hair and you have to do the upkeep as if it was your own hair! Some say that's the drawback.
It's Wednesday and I have an appointment to try on wigs. It's hard to get the real effect with your own hair still there. So there I am trying on these synthetic wigs and you can't comb them like human hair, you just have to play with it with your fingers to get it to look right. After an hour or so, I walked out of there with a wig and about 7 knitted hats, scarves, etc.
By that time I was feeling sick. I forgot to eat and had taken a pain pill because I was sore from the surgery on Monday. Luckily I was just 20 minutes from home, I didn't think I'd make it but I did.
When I got home and went straight to bed at 2:30pm. Lauren comes home (my 11 year old daughter) and comes to lay with me in bed. I told her what I did that day and she asked if she can look at my "goodies". That little girl had a field day with all the stuff. (You all have to know that being nauseous for me is the worst, I can take physical pain, but not a queezy stomach. So my emotions are running rampid.) She tries on the wig and says "hey, can I wear this for Halloween?" I was thinking of being a girl from the 1980's. Holding back the tears (not tears of laughter) I said sure.
I don't think I cried as much as I did that night. I know it's only hair, but I think everything finally sunk in, chemo is starting Monday and I am nervous and scared.
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