It's been over 2 months since my last post.  My last entry was right before I went back to work after 9 months off taking care of myself.  I was so excited about going back, seeing my friends and getting into a  routine again.  I can say, the first 2 weeks I was physically exhausted.  I was in bed by 7 pm.  I should have gone back 1/2 days.  But who knew?

Let's just say after the first day, I wish I was back home, honestly.  It was so overwhelming relearning everything as things have changed and physically exhausting.  Not to mention the stress of layoffs that were done a week before I went back and more a month into my return.

What I've learned while I was out, is that my priorities have changed forever.  I still will give 100 percent at work, but a job is just that, a job.  My family and me come first now and probably always should have, but when the demands of your job are in your face, you, or I should say me, can't help but get it done no matter what it takes.  Well, I can't physically get it all done as before, especially with less staff and the same amount of work.  That's just the way it is.  I won't compromise my health and mental state.

People see me coming back, looking physically fine and going about my daily routine as if I never left.  But what they don't see are the mental and emotional aspects of what I went through.  They are still very raw and on my mind daily.  My hair is growing back, but I still have a hard time with it being so short and super curly.  I did finally stop wearing the wig.  It got so hot and my own hair was showing through it.  I still have a hard time looking at myself in the mirror with the short hair.  I'm not being vain, it's just part of my journey and how I'm handling it.

With work, kids activities, household chores, doctor appointments, I find there is no time for me and my life with the ones I love. My 9-5 job,  gets in the way of it and I have to find something that will help me be content with less and doing things that make me happy.  But, all of this takes up time and I'm exhausted by the time I get home to work on working to attain that.  I'm hoping some energy comes my way and I work on it. 

I'm without a doubt I will find what I'm looking for, I already know what I want, it's just finding the time to work on it and making it happen.  I am blessed to have many friends who are willing to help.

Until the next post.  I will have an update on my journey, AFTER CANCER.....