November 21, 2011, my third chemo treatment. I've heard from people who've gone through it that by the third time it gets worse. I couldn't imagine that, since the first 2 weren't that bad at all. Except for the loss of power for 7 days and an infection on my head!!!
I went in that day and now I'm seeing the physical signs and feeling the emotional signs this treatment is having on me. In the scheme of things, it may seem minimal to someone who isn't or hasn't gone through this. They say, your hair will grow back, you'll be back to normal when all the drugs are out of you, your wig looks great, you look cute in the knit hats, etc...... but I have stayed positive since June 14th, never blamed anyone for this, never said why me, but after 6 months of this it's taken a toll on my body, mind and emotions!
I can barely look at myself in the mirror, my face has red blotches all over it and I'm bald. I'm tired of wearing these knit hats and the wig, as nice as it is, it isn't mine. Not to mention the loss of appetite AND weight gain. How in the hell can that happen! I don't even want to go out of the house at times. I'm exhausted all the time. They say by the 3rd chemo, it builds up and you will get tired more often. I won't even mention the awful snoring I've developed since the first chemo. Keeps everyone up in the house!!!!
I can say that my husband, Bob, Joey and Lauren have been great since this last chemo. I have been an emotional roller coaster and it can't be easy for them to deal with my ups and downs. Joey asked me how I was doing yesterday and usually I say "fine", but I just told him what I was feeling....I was tired of feeling fat, gaining weight, being bald, and wearing these knit hats.....He's so sweet, he's trying to make me laugh, saying how cute I was with the hats and reminded me that, yes, I'm bald, but some people are bald and won't make it.....and that I'm going to be fine. I get it, and love him for trying to make me feel better. But, hey, I'm human and I'm blaming the drugs on my emotions!!!!
I was talking (OK texting) today to my sister-in-law and she told me don't be to hard on myself. Sometimes you have to get mad, sad and angry to get over to the hurdle for the next part of the journey. I haven't done any of this since it all began, so maybe it's about time!!!!! After her text, I did feel better! (Thanks Anne xoxoxo) Whatever it is, it better go away soon, I can't stand it much longer.
The light at the end of the (chemo) tunnel is near. My last treatment is December 12th. And since it's my last one, I won't need my neulasta shot (that's what makes me sick with the aches, pains, and sometimes nausea). But those darn steriods I do need, so I'll do this one more time and be done with it.
I have to wait 3 weeks before radiation, so I will hopefully be able to enjoy the holidays with family and friends!
I hope everyone enjoys their Holidays. I know I sure will! I do have a lot to be thankful for this year, but will be glad when 2011 is over with.
Sunday, December 4, 2011
Lucky Me!?!?
Well, after loosing my hair and coming to terms with it, I was just looking forward to a nice bald head. Is that to much to ask for? In the scheme of things, I don't think so. I still have some peach fuzz, which at times I pick at thinking it still should come out. It hasn't yet, so maybe I'd better stop pulling it!!!!
About a week or so after my second chemo treatment, my head started to itch. I didn't give it much thought, I figured, since we had no power for 7 days I was wearing knit caps 24/7, that maybe my head just needed to breathe. (I still do that anyways because my head is so darn cold!!!). Well, it got so bad I wanted to scream! Not to gross everyone out, but it looked like I had poison ivy on my head. So, I called the doctor to see if they can get some cream for it. They called back and wanted to see me! CRAP! I have to make a trip in the see the doctor. Well, they took a look at it and saw that was an infection in my hair follicles!!!!! GREAT!!!!! Are you shitting me? I asked, is this normal? They say some people get it. I told them, I just got used to loosing my hair and looking forward to a nice bald freakin' head, and I get an infection.
So, 10 days on antibiotics and some cortisone cream. It finally went away withing a few days......I've always stayed positive, never really bitched (yet) but come on hair follicle infection!!!! As awful as it was, I did laugh about it after it was all done!!!! Only me!
On a happier note, I was 1/2 done with my treatments, just 2 more to go!!! Yippie!!!!
About a week or so after my second chemo treatment, my head started to itch. I didn't give it much thought, I figured, since we had no power for 7 days I was wearing knit caps 24/7, that maybe my head just needed to breathe. (I still do that anyways because my head is so darn cold!!!). Well, it got so bad I wanted to scream! Not to gross everyone out, but it looked like I had poison ivy on my head. So, I called the doctor to see if they can get some cream for it. They called back and wanted to see me! CRAP! I have to make a trip in the see the doctor. Well, they took a look at it and saw that was an infection in my hair follicles!!!!! GREAT!!!!! Are you shitting me? I asked, is this normal? They say some people get it. I told them, I just got used to loosing my hair and looking forward to a nice bald freakin' head, and I get an infection.
So, 10 days on antibiotics and some cortisone cream. It finally went away withing a few days......I've always stayed positive, never really bitched (yet) but come on hair follicle infection!!!! As awful as it was, I did laugh about it after it was all done!!!! Only me!
On a happier note, I was 1/2 done with my treatments, just 2 more to go!!! Yippie!!!!
It's been awhile......lots to tell....
So, last I posted, my first chemo was under my belt and my hair fell out, blah, blah, blah......
The second round of chemo was like the first, side effect wise, but I had to endure these side effects without power, running water, and heat. We had an Autumnal Nor'easter, Alfred, come to Connecticut for a visit. We lost power on Saturday afternoon, October 29th and my chemo was to be done on Halloween. I thought, no big deal, we'll have power by then. I got ready Sunday or chemo, and took my steriods, morning and night. Then got up Monday am put my numbing cream on my port and waited. Received a call that the cancer center had no power and it was to be rescheduled until Tuesday....OK.....Then Tuesday came, still no power at home, but thought for sure the Cancer Center got power by now! NOT! I received a call saying I can go to another center to have it done. I said fine, let me get this done with. I literally had 30 minutes to get directions to the place, drive there and be on time for my chemo appointment.
It was a little tough this time around because we still had no power and with my aches, pains, no sleeping, it was tough getting comfortable. It might have been a blessing, because it forced me to get out and find a warm place to go. I spent Wednesday with Joe and my sister. We got to take a nice hot shower and relaxed. My aches and pains weren't bad yet. The next day wasn't bad either, but Friday was the worst, and it was day 7 without power. I went outside to keep warm, and by 2:30 I was exhausted. I came home and the afternoon sun had warmed up the house. BY 7:30pm that Friday night the power came on. You'd think I'd won the lottery!!! I jumped off the couch with a burst of energy, I texted everyone I knew letting them know power was ON!!!! I don't know where the energy came from, but I started cleaning the kitchen like a mad woman, which after 7 days was a mess!!!! Finally, back to normal at home!
The second round of chemo was like the first, side effect wise, but I had to endure these side effects without power, running water, and heat. We had an Autumnal Nor'easter, Alfred, come to Connecticut for a visit. We lost power on Saturday afternoon, October 29th and my chemo was to be done on Halloween. I thought, no big deal, we'll have power by then. I got ready Sunday or chemo, and took my steriods, morning and night. Then got up Monday am put my numbing cream on my port and waited. Received a call that the cancer center had no power and it was to be rescheduled until Tuesday....OK.....Then Tuesday came, still no power at home, but thought for sure the Cancer Center got power by now! NOT! I received a call saying I can go to another center to have it done. I said fine, let me get this done with. I literally had 30 minutes to get directions to the place, drive there and be on time for my chemo appointment.
It was a little tough this time around because we still had no power and with my aches, pains, no sleeping, it was tough getting comfortable. It might have been a blessing, because it forced me to get out and find a warm place to go. I spent Wednesday with Joe and my sister. We got to take a nice hot shower and relaxed. My aches and pains weren't bad yet. The next day wasn't bad either, but Friday was the worst, and it was day 7 without power. I went outside to keep warm, and by 2:30 I was exhausted. I came home and the afternoon sun had warmed up the house. BY 7:30pm that Friday night the power came on. You'd think I'd won the lottery!!! I jumped off the couch with a burst of energy, I texted everyone I knew letting them know power was ON!!!! I don't know where the energy came from, but I started cleaning the kitchen like a mad woman, which after 7 days was a mess!!!! Finally, back to normal at home!
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)