I thought since they got all the cancer, surgeries are done, that I would be less scared, but not the case. I am somewhat scared of again, "the unknown" I am now waiting to see what the treatment would be. Whether it just be radiation or both chemo and radiation. I was told that the cancer stage (stage 1) and type I have type B, (there are types A, B and C) which is dead smack in the middle and would possibly be a "personal choice" as to whether or not I wanted to do chemo.
I am scheduled to meet with the medical oncologist Monday, September 12th. She will look at my records/data and put in the computer that tells you the results as to what the percentage of what the reoccurrence rate would be if I had chemo or if I didn't have chemo. If it was a type A, they would probably say no to chemo, if my type was a C, they would do chemo, but since it's a B, right in the middle, it may be my choice........What am I to do? I'll just have to look at the percentage of reoccurrence rate and decide with the help of my husband and rely on my faith to help me make the right decision.
If chemo is required, I would need it for 4 months, every other week. I hadn't known that the chemo is about 4-5 hours a day for 1 week, then one week off, etc. Then after chemo it would be a total of 35 treatments of radiation. At least that is just 10 minutes a day for 5 days a week, for 2 months.
In my heart and mind I know what I'd do regarding chemo if it was up to me, but I will wait to see what the doctor says.
I have been positive 95% of the time, but it's been 3 months already and it feels like I'm still in a fog. I need a vacuum to suck everyting out of my head just to clear it out, so I can focus on me and my journey.
Two more days to wait and see..........
A sweet story I heard today: My 16 year old son, Joey, plays baseball. Well, he's been using his sister's pink bat bag. I thought it was because his was old and worn out. I did think, "why is he using a pink bag", aren't the other boys going to tease him? He's is very respected by his teammates, so that wasn't a problem. And he never asked for a new one, and for Joey that was odd!!!!! One of the parents told me at today's game, that Joey told her son, that he uses the "pink bat bag" to support his Mom because she has breast cancer. That hadn't even entered my mind why he was using it, I got so teary eyed when she told me. I am so proud of what a great young man he is growing up to be. He's still a teenager and by no means is perfect, but he does get things in life, and that makes me proud. Joey I love you!!!!
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